Reasons Why I Can't Ask Lily Evans Out
by mustardgirl1128
Summary: I was stuck. Blissfully stuck, yes, but stuck nonetheless...How I think James went about getting Lily ::ONESHOT::


A/N: Thanks to my poll, I found that most of you (5 out of 17 amazing people) wanted a fluffy LJ, so please enjoy!

Summary: 'I was stuck. Blissfully stuck, yes, but stuck nonetheless.' How I think James went about getting Lily…ONESHOT

Rating: K plus, simply because of swears and a few mild sexual references.

* * *

_Reasons Why I Can't Ask Lily Evans Out_

**Lily's POV**

"Alice, who would you most want to come to your funeral?" I asked. I'd been thinking of funerals all day; don't ask me why.

"What?" Alice Engle said, her head flipping around, one of her curls whacking me in the face.

"Who the hell were you staring at? I could see it in your posture, Al…you want to shag someone! Who?" I asked, giggling like I always did. I'm a _hopeless _romantic.

"F--fwabbahwabbah…" she muttered.

"Repeat that?" Marlene McKinnon, my other best friend, asked, leaning forward.

"Fwabah?" I asked. "Is that a first name or last name?"

She slapped me on the leg playfully and responded, louder this time, "Frank Longbottom…" she sighed in the lovesick-schoolgirl fashion and put her head in her arms. "Shoot me."

"Come again?" Marlene asked again, "Shall I shag him, did you say?"

She laughed loudly, like usual, and looked up, playing with a strand of her brown hair. "No, shoot me. He's going out with Mary!"

"Since when?" I asked, intrigued. Our other friend, who we didn't quite know as well, had not told anyone…well, me, at least.

"Since yesterday," Marlene explained. "Mary didn't tell you?"

"I could swear she wanted Gideon Prewett yesterday," I said uncomfortably; Marlene was giving me her trademark x-raying look.

"She did, only she couldn't tell if it was him or Fabian, so she gave up. Now she's all over Frank. Look away, Alice!" she added as Mary walked up to him with a flirtatious grin.

She ended up sitting on his lap, snogging him--right there in the damn Great Hall! "Sickening…" I muttered. Like I said, I'm a hopeless romantic, but she was going overboard.

"I thought sticking your tongue down someone else's throat was more…personal," said Alice, looking transfixed.

"It _is_," replied Marlene, who had had her fair share of snogging partners, "but Mary obviously doesn't agree! Ugh--look at that! Ew, gross…"

I had to look away, so I turned my head towards the entrance to the Hall.

Mistake.

James frigging Potter was walking in. He smiled luxuriously as a fourth year Ravenclaw ran up to him and began to flirt with him unchecked.

When she rubbed up against him, though, he pushed her away, looking sickened. He said something, but I couldn't hear. Oh thank Merlin.

James Potter used to be the bane of my existence. Now--well, to be frank, I think I'm in love with him. For about six months, after I had the first…ahem…_dream_, I pondered it. Now, staring at him, I found that my theories died away in my brain; my mind became blissfully unaware of Mary and Marlene's angry voices; and my hands twitched--oh Lord, forget the dreams!

I thought instead of my original question to Alice: who did _I_ want coming to my funeral, hands down?

James. James, James, James, a thousand times James.

Ooh, when he laughs he is _sexy_.

No, Lily…forget the dream…forget it…

* * *

**James' POV**

I swear Lily was looking at me during breakfast. Examining me…checking me out?

I know I'm dead sexy, just like that pervvy Ravenclaw girl _purred _to me right before I noticed Lily. But I'm not good enough for Perfect Lily Evans, the Head Girl, the Beauty, the Mature, Sensible, Sweet, Smart, Amazing, Fantastic, Adorable, Quiet, Sexy, Loud-When-Yelling, Happy-Go-Lucky, Hott, Cute, Funny, Crazy, and Absolutely Perfect Lily Evans.

Sorry, I got a bit carried away there…

So I asked Sirius. "Mate, she was checking _me_ out," he said, even though he clearly hadn't _seen_, and he and Marlene McKinnon have had a thing lately. "By the way, Moony, in honor of Valentine's Day, my second-cousin Nymphodora Tonks gave me a card to give to you. Because I went to Andy's the other day. Her kid forces everyone to call her Tonks! Only her parents call her Dora, and she _hates_ it…"

I didn't care that he continued to ramble on, or that Moony was turning redder and redder as he read the card and looked at the colorful strips of hair as a border, because Lily had stood up just then.

Something snapped in me as I saw her, grinning behind her to Marlene McKinnon. Until then, I'd honored her wish for me to just _go away_. After all, we were Heads now, and really, what could I do? We were practically _running the school_. I couldn't start more meaningless fights.

But right then, I wanted, _needed_ to ask her out. One last time.

Only one problem: she had already _left_ the Great Hall, flanked on either side by Alice and Marlene.

_Shit_.

* * *

**Lily's POV**

I sensed, rather than saw, James, walk me out of the Great Hall with his hungry eyes. I rolled my own--after all, he was just putting on a damn show.

During the day, my mind kept returning to those unfortunate dreams…and his sexy, Quidditch-strong arms--Oh Merlin. I wanted him. I'd fallen for the arrogant, idiotic toe-rag.

Finally, at the end of dinner, I couldn't take it anymore.

"Alice! Marlene!" I hissed.

"What?" Marlene stage-whispered back. I rolled my eyes.

"C'mon, let's go to our room--I have to tell you something."

We left quickly, and I'm sure James saw and noted this. I'm also sure we were slightly playing footsie under the table--he was sitting across and diagonal to me, and…

Once there, I collapsed on my bed. "I like James Potter. Actually, I think I love him."

"Jeez! When did you find this out, Lils?" Marlene asked, moving to sit next to me.

"A--awhile ago…I don't want to go into detail…"

My friends laughed. "Look, just tell him, okay? He's _obsessed_ with you."

"Can't you tell, Alice? It's all a show."

"Then why did he stop asking you out?" a new voice challenged.

"Mary!" we all shrieked, jumping up.

She smiled and sat down on her bed. Alice glared pointedly at her. "Why are _you_ here? Shouldn't you be off snogging Frank in a broom-closet or something?" she asked coldly.

Mary looked hurt, but only said, "Frank and I are over. He said we were moving to fast, and we needed a break."

"Oh," Alice whispered, sounding ashamed. Mary sounded really disappointed herself.

"How long have you been listening?" I asked. I wasn't very friendly to her either. Merlin, she goes through guys pretty quickly. And I didn't forget her lack of confidence.

She seemed to notice. "I followed you up here. I need a head start on my Arithmancy essay. And by the way, I didn't tell you about me and Frank because I thought you and Alice were--were fighting over him."

She seemed sorry to own up, but I laughed aloud. "_Me?_ Little Frankie Longbottom?"

"Little Frankie Longbottom?" Alice repeated. "He is almost a _man, _Lils! Don't disrespect him--"

"No, Al," I interrupted "see, I met him on the first day and he--he was just _tiny_. Remember him in first year? And his mum kept calling him Frankie, and Little Frankie. It stuck."

Alice, Marlene and Mary stare at me for a moment. Then all three of them burst into hysterics.

I watched them grumpily. "Well, I have my Head Duties, g'night."

Marlene and Mary paused and waved to me, but Alice was still laughing. I rolled my eyes and headed off.

* * *

**James' POV**

My patrolling-the-corridors duties, as Sirius so creatively calls them, pulled me away from the list I am making of Reasons Why I Can't Ask Lily Evans Out. I gave it Peter ("You're the only one I can trust, Wormtail. Moony's being weird because of that card, Sirius is…being Sirius.") and headed off, much to my dismay, because I have to do these Duties _with_ Lily Evans.

Damn it.

When I got to our Meeting Place, the witch that is secretly a Secret Passage into Hogsmeade, I had to exercise every bit of my self-control not to push her against a wall and…well, I leave the rest to your dirty imagination.

"Hey, Lily," I said casually.

"James," she responded with a nod.

"Let us Patrol, yes?" I asked. She cocked an eyebrow at me and grinned.

"That _is_ our job, James."

"Well, obviously," I said calmly, and then I grinned wickedly. "Our job? What _else_ is our job?"

She coloured up--I seriously don't know why--and mumbled something.

"Come again?"

She blinked up at me--oh, sweet Merlin!

She looks like a doe.

Hey! I'm a stag--perhaps we're meant to be.

But the only thing that my traitorous mind did was say, "Kiss her, James!"

I looked away quickly, before anything could happen.

But it was to no avail, because that precise moment someone chose to send something our way.

"Marlene!" Lily screamed.

"Sirius!" I said at the exact same time. They were sitting in one of those Muggle contraptions--lawn hoers, I think they're called--and _snogging_. Sirius had obviously accidentally hit the gas pedal, because they were hurdling towards us.

"Jump!" Lily screamed. Without detaching their lips from one another, they did just that. Now they were rolling on the floor.

"Ew…"

"Do you think they'll shag?" I asked, amazed, and slightly transfixed.

Lily blinked up at me again. I leaned towards her--but then the angry lawn hoer tried to attack. I heard it's buzzing sound, and I grabbed Lily and pinned her to the wall, right next to where the contraption eventually hit. Sirius had jammed the pedal down so hard that it was still buzzing against the wall.

But there she was--in my arms. I looked at her, she looked at me, and there was only one logical thing to do.

* * *

**Lily's POV**

Oh.

Sweet.

Merlin.

We were _kissing_. Bloody snogging. I felt his tongue against my lips--heaven. I allowed it in to roam and explore.

Numbness took over my body. I almost wept and screamed at the same time. This was amazing…but then I remembered _who _I was snogging with, and how, and why. I took a step back and glared.

"You don't even _like_ me!" I said.

"You're right," he said evenly, but his eyes betrayed his hunger and longing for our previous close contact. "I love you."

And then he kissed me again. I was flush against him, trapped by the wall, and so I was stuck. Blissfully stuck, yes, but stuck nonetheless. I felt something unfortunate begin to happen to him.

He broke the kiss and I whimpered.

"_This_ is our other job, Lily Evans. But first we must finish the original one."

"Yes…okay, James, you're right. But just--just kiss me one more time?"

He grinned. "Hell, yes!"

As we were kissing, I dimly heard Sirius say, "Well, McKinnon, we did it. They're together."

"Brilliant plan, Sirius," said Marlene in he 'sexy voice', breathing hard.

"Thank you, thank you," he said, like he was accepting a Muggle Oscar.

"It was so brilliant that I think we should celebrate."

"Oh? How so?"

"Oh, I don't know. Perhaps you should snog me until I collapse in a heap of exhaustion."

"You know, I'll need you to pay me back."

"Yeah? In what way?"

"Respond so hard I won't be able to feel my lips," he responded hungrily, and she giggled.

Oh, for Merlin's sake.

And then I distinctly heard McGonagall saying, "Oh, finally! Potter and Evans; we were all waiting."

And--is that _Flitwick?_ I heard _him_ squeak, "We all expected it, didn't we, Minerva?"

"We certainly did, Filius. Now go get Hagrid--he owes me three galleons."

THE END 


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